How Do I Tell My Partner I’m Feeling Lonely in Our Relationship?

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. Sometimes you and your partner grow apart. This can leave you feeling lonely and isolated. Feeling lonely in a relationship is something that a lot of people go through. We have a few tips to help you communicate to your partner that you’re feeling alone in the relationship, but these tips don’t replace the need you both might have for couples therapy.

To start, it’s important to establish how you feel. Recognising that you feel lonely in your relationship is the first step to fixing the problem. Then you need to decide how to talk to your partner about how lonely you are. If you don’t say anything because you’re worried about their reaction, nothing will ever change.

We’re going to go over some reasons you might be asking yourself “why do I feel lonely in my relationship?” We’ll also focus on ways to combat that loneliness and communicate with your partner about how you feel and what you need.

Why Do I Feel Lonely in My Relationship?

There are many reasons why you might be feeling lonely in a relationship. The first is that you feel isolated. You could be sitting in the same room as your partner and feel like you’re the only person there. Maybe your partner ignores you. Or maybe you and your partner avoid having real conversations. This can add to the isolation and feeling disconnected from your partner.

It’s possible that your partner isn’t the right person for you. This can be hard to face, but if you’re feeling lonely in a relationship it’s time to evaluate the relationship itself. It might be time to move on.

Maybe your partner is the right person for you, but you’re afraid to let them in. Perhaps you think they’re too right for you and that they might run away if they see the real you. This can cause an equal amount of problems. You need to trust your partner enough to know they made the right decision in being with you.

One of the main reasons couples disconnect that can cause feeling alone in a relationship is that they lack good communication. A successful relationship requires both parties to speak to one another about how they’re feeling, what they’re doing, and have a general back and forth. If you and your partner are making decisions without consulting the other person, that can lead to feeling alone in the relationship.

Another reason you might feel alone in your relationship is that you and your partner lack intimacy. We don’t just mean physical intimacy, although lack of sex can isolate you and your partner from each other and make you feel disconnected. But also there can be a lack of emotional intimacy. This goes back to communication. If you’re not open about how you feel, your relationship will suffer.

Other answers to the question “why do I feel lonely in my relationship?” could be related to health problems and mental health challenges. If you or your partner has health issues, mental or physical, it can either bring you both together or split you apart. Health issues can cause difficulty connecting and might make you feel as if you’re not “in it together” anymore.

If you or your partner travel for work, it can make one or both of you feel lonely. The distance and separation can take a toll on the relationship. If you’re not communicating regularly and effectively, the constant travel could cause you to feel lonely.

Feeling Sad and Lonely in a Relationship

You might feel lonely in a relationship if you and your partner don’t talk about things. It can be hard to be in the same room with the person you love and feel like you can’t talk to them. This is isolating and frustrating. It might make you both pull further away from each other, continuing the cycle of lack of communication.

You might feel sad that the relationship no longer feels like a partnership. Sometimes people feel depressed when they feel alone in the relationship. This can make it harder to communicate and feel closer to your partner. While sadness and depression are two very different things, extreme sadness is a symptom of depression. If you’re feeling this way, talk to your partner and seek counselling.

Signs of Loneliness in a Relationship

If you’re feeling lonely in a relationship, you probably feel isolated. You and your partner don’t connect anymore.

Maybe you’ve stopped having sex or even touching each other. There’s no sense of closeness between the two of you anymore. It just doesn’t feel like you’re a team. These are all signs that a relationship is one-sided and could be the answer to the question “why do I feel lonely in my relationship?”

How to Communicate That You’re Feeling Lonely in a Relationship and What to Do About It

It’s important to tell your partner how you feel. Communication is everything in a relationship. If you and your partner aren’t communicating, you both might wind up feeling alone in the relationship and isolated from one another.

Try to increase quality time spent together. Have a date night. Don’t eat dinner in front of the TV, rather, talk about your day instead. Go on walks together, take a day trip to the beach or the mountains. It doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as you’re doing it together.

Spend time with your friends and family, the other people who love you, so you don’t feel so alone all the time. Do things just for you, like volunteering or joining a club or spending time in nature by yourself or with friends. Time apart from your partner might just bring you closer together.

Speak up for yourself. Tell your partner what you need. And then on the flip side, listen to your partner. Notice when your partner is trying to connect with you and evaluate whether or not you are shutting them out.

If you’re ready to take the first step in learning how to stop feeling lonely in a relationship, contact us to schedule an appointment. We look forward to helping you build a happier, healthier relationship with your partner.